A beginner's guide to foot play
Feet are immensely popular in the bedroom.
In fact, a recent survey by the sex toy brand Lelo revealed that feet are the top body part to play with, apart from genitals.
But if you’re a newbie podophile – the official term for someone who is sexually aroused by trotters – it can be hard to know where to begin, or how to tell your lover that you want to worship their feet.
To help us explore this kink and the many ways it can be enjoyed, we asked sex experts to share their top advice.
Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship expert at Lovehoney, the sex toy website, explains that our feet are erogenous zones – these beauties are packed with 7,000 nerve endings (which is also what makes them so ticklish).
Enjoying foot play isn’t necessarily about having a foot fetish, as the latter can be linked to psychological enjoyment, with some people using feet as humiliation or power play.
So, how to begin… ?
How to tell your partner you want to try foot play
Camilla Constance, a sex and intimacy expert, explains that you need to create a safe space where there’s no judgement – focus on keeping an open mind.
‘Talking about what you truly desire is one of the most intimate things you can do,’ she says.
‘Creating a safe container to have this talk is critical, so you need to follow a few simple rules:
‘1. Whatever you say inside the container will be listened to with love and respect and not be used as ammunition in an argument at a later date. This is critical for building safety and trust.
‘2. Inside the container you listen without interrupting or answering. That does not mean the person speaking gets to experience their desire, it means they get to express their desire.
‘I suggest you agree to talk in a place you both feel safe and unthreatened, e.g sitting face-to-face or next to each other in bed. You clear a period of time for each other, (no TV, no phone, no computer…) just the two of you.
‘And you take it in turns to ask each other to express your desires (everything you desire to experience in your sex/relationship), fears (everything that causes you fear, anxiety or worry in your sex/ relationship) and loves (everything you love about your partner).’
Once the chat is done – and if you are both happy to proceed with foot play – the fun begins.
Give an erotic foot massage
Grab a bottle of oil or lotion, and start with a foot massage – but make sure your trotters are fresh before you shove them in your partner’s hands.
Annabelle says: ‘Only do what you’re comfortable with and give them a good scrub clean first – maybe by sharing a shower.
‘Start by offering your partner a foot rub. Work from the feet up and then back down again.
‘Make sure you get those nerve endings switched on and ready for action.’
Talk before you take it up a notch
If you’re interested in trying the BDSM aspect of foot play, such as being a foot slave or something else that is on the more extreme end of the fetish, clear it with your partner first.
‘If the kind of foot play you’re looking for goes beyond the desire for a simple, romantic massage, then a conversation needs to be had up front about whether you and your partner are both comfortable with it,’ adds Stuart Nugent, sex expert at Lelo.
‘Make sure you’re on the same page regarding the dynamics involved, especially if there are elements of domination and submission implied by what you want to do, or have done.
‘This isn’t the time for surprises, and it’s the worst time to discover that a partner has a serious but secret aversion to feet.’
Kiss your way to the treasure
As Stu mentioned, the best way to fulfil fantasies – foot fetish or not – is to talk to your sexual partner.
However, if you want, you can also use your body, or in this case mouth, to hint at what you’re after.
Annabelle says; ‘Try kissing down your partner’s inner thighs, use your oiled hands to stroke their feet, gently kiss the arches of their soles and begin licking and sucking their toes.’
But pay attention to their body cues, if they start to flinch when you kiss their ankles ask before you proceed.
Set the mood
‘Let’s assume that you’re both comfortable with feet, that consent has been sought and obtained, and that you’re ready to start,’ says Stu.
‘Prepare the space indulgently and sensuously, with scented candles and mood-lighting, and with some background music.
‘Don’t overlook this, it can make all the difference – a foot massage can be highly erotically charged, but for it to work effectively, you need create the right atmosphere.’
Get a manicure and throw on the heels
To get yourself in the mood, prepare your feet for the occasion.
Get a snazzy manicure (at home, until lockdown is over) and then wear your finest heels. Or pull on a pair of lace stay-ups and wear a cute toe ring, whatever works to put the attention on the lowest part of your body.
Different people prefer different shoes, so try various pairs – from stilettos to kitten heels or even loafers, if that’s your jam.
In the BDSM community, high heels are common as these are a sign of power in the wearer, either in a strappy style or a boot.
Camilla says: ‘For some a big part of foot play is the “stockings in sexy heels to naked” play.
‘Let me share a secret with you: those gorgeous sexy high heels you can’t walk in?
‘They weren’t designed for walking…they were designed for removing!
‘Lie back and enjoy having your shoes and stockings removed slowly, with gentle kisses all the way down your legs and covering your feet. Bliss.’
Join a foot party
Once the pandemic is over and we’re allowed to be within two metres of other people again, sign up for a foot party.
The aptly named London Foot Party regularly hosts events where you can delight in all things toes, ankles and more, including being trampled by beautiful models.
And since you’ll know that everyone is a fan of feet, you can let loose on those trotters.
Ask your partner to wash your feet for you
Or vice versa.
‘It’s deeply sensual (and very honouring) to have your feet washed by your partner, maybe make this a part of your erotic play,’ says Camilla.
To take the foot washing up a notch, choose a scented body wash that you both enjoy.
Watch foot porn for inspiration
From foot jobs to people being penetrated by toes, to people worshipping toes and close-ups of women putting their neatly-pedicured feet on car pedals while wearing sexy shoes, the porn industry has pretty much every fantasy you can imagine.
Use it as inspiration or perhaps ask your partner if they’d be keen to watch it with you.
Give a foot job
Once you’ve watched a video on how to give a foot job, why not give it a try?
Camilla says: ‘Feet are super sensitive, be aware of this if you are the giving partner.
‘If you are the receiving partner, try not to respond in your conditioned way (pulling them away) but instead get curious.’
Gently rub your toes up and down your partner’s genitals – but if this is the first time, ask before you do this. Use lube to ease the friction.
If your other half has a penis, use both your feet – one on either side – to wank them off.
You can also involve the balls, but be easy on the pressure – though some men do like having them ‘crushed’ or squashed. But even then, be gentle so that you or your partner don’t end up in A&E.
If your other half has a vagina you could slide your toes across their clitoris or try ‘toeing’ them (i.e. the foot version of fingering).
‘Keep in mind that all sensual play enjoyed before penetration is a sensual turn-on for women and builds orgasmic energy in our bodies,’ adds Camilla.
‘The more your turn on her whole body the greater her orgasm will be. Feet are no different.’
Go running before sex
Some podophiles not only enjoy the look of a sexy foot, but also, the scent.
Fresh sweat in men releases the pheromone androstenone, which is said to turn women on, but some people enjoy stale sweat scents too – that of smelly socks for instance.
You can even make money off your pungent footwear; one woman claims to earn £100,000 a year selling her foul-smelling garments.
And having a strong sense of smell whole could give you stronger orgasms, according to a Germany study.
There you have it – get your foot play on.
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