I'm with the love of my life – but I'm worried about his drug-taking 14-year-old daughter

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM with the love of my life, who I met three years ago. I am 54 and he is 51. 

The one fly in the ointment is his 14-year-old daughter. I like her, but she is going down a worrying path, smoking, drinking, taking drugs and staying out late. 

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She asks her mum if she can stay here because her dad is a soft-touch. When she is here, she stays out all night and he doesn’t say a word. 

She has now asked for a key so she can drop in as she pleases. She already turns up at all hours but at least she has to knock on the door. 

Her mum doesn’t want her to have a key but her dad never says no. I don’t want to come between my fiancé and his daughter but don’t my feelings count?

DEIDRE SAYS: Your boyfriend needs to talk to his ex and agree on some boundaries for their daughter – one of which should be returning home by an agreed time. 

They need to present a united front, otherwise she will keep playing them off against each other – ultimately to her detriment.

Perhaps your ex feels guilty about the relationship break-up with his ex and so gives in to his daughter.

Suggest they speak to Family Lives, which will understand the issues here (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222).

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