Woman says she's only been to her friend's house once in 10 YEARS

Do YOU always return the invitation? Woman sparks debate about ‘reverse invite etiquette’ after revealing she’s only been to her friend’s house once in 10 years despite frequently having her over

  • Woman, who lives in the UK, has been to her friend’s house just once in 10 years
  • Posting on Mumsnet, said her friend always suggests meeting somewhere else
  • Argued her friend’s house is a similar size her own and is nicely decorated
  • Responses were torn, as some agreed they expect an invite after hosting 

A woman who has only been to her friend’s house once in ten years, has sparked a debate about expecting to receive a return invite after hosting a social gathering.

Posting anonymously on Mumsnet, the woman, who lives in the UK, explained in the past ten years, she has only been to her friend’s house once for a birthday party.

She said the friend has a similar sized house which is nicely decorated, but they always say that they would prefer to come to her house or meet somewhere else. 

Many responses to the post admitted they also have friends who hate to host social gatherings at their home, however some said they find it rude when friends don’t invite them over.

A woman has sparked a heated debate about expecting a friend to offer invites to their home (file image)

Posting on Mumsnet, the woman explained she has been to her friend’s house just once in the past ten years

Asking for opinions, the woman wrote: ‘We have some couple friends that we have known for around 10 years. Over the years we’ve all moved house a few times. During a discussion with my OH [other half] today we realised that although we have hosted the other couple many times for drinks/lunch/dinner/ parties in all our houses (obv not much the last year thanks to Covid) we have only been to their house once, for a birthday party. 

‘Whenever they suggest a catch up they either want to meet out somewhere or they say they are happy to come to us. Their house is a similar size to ours, nicely decorated and they are tidy people so I doubt they aren’t inviting because of the house.

‘We get on well and enjoy their company but starting to wonder if it’s odd that the invitations are never reciprocated. Anyone else have friends like this?’

A stream of responses to the post agreed friends should offer to host gatherings at their home in exchange for being invited.

One person wrote: ‘Cheeky gits. If you aren’t comfortable returning a dinner invitation you shouldn’t accept them either. Especially multiple times. They’re free to suggest you eat out every time you meet, not just when it’s their turn to host.’

‘God, I hated parents who never reciprocated playdates, but were happy for me to do all the work. Your friends are simply the lazy a***** adult version of this! Invitations should always be reciprocated. If you’re not happy with that, don’t accept them you weirdo. OP, YANBU [you are not being unreasonable],’ another said.    

A stream of responses to the post argued it’s ‘cheeky’ not to return the invitation after going to a friend’s house

However, others argued it isn’t necessary to return invitations because not everyone enjoys hosting.

One person wrote: ‘Oh no I’d actually love to be in that position. I love hosting people. I get to choose what we eat and drink. I know the house/toilet is going to be spotless. And best of all, I get to go straight to sleep after they’ve left and not fork out for a taxi home or not drink so I can drive.’

Another said: ‘I could be your friend lol! I just don’t like people over at my house. You have no control over when they leave and it feels like an invasion of privacy having anyone here. OH feels the same.’

A third added: ‘Are reciprocal invites really necessary? If you invite me to your house, I’m going to think it’s because you want me to go to your house, not because you want to come to mine. If no one had ever tried to explain it to me, it would never occur to me that those things were in any way connected.’ 

Others argued they don’t like having people in their home and wouldn’t expect to have to return the offer because they visited a friend

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